The Bottom Line
December 2009
A few moments ago I had the privilege of doing an extraordinary
reading on Joy for someone (I’ll call her Grace) who has recently
completed the Turning Point and Joyspring workshops that springboarded
me nearly six years ago. In her current state of open-ness and
willingness to face the truth no matter how painful, Grace was able to
co-create a reading that went straight to the bottom line. I LOVE the
readings that go straight to the bottom line but these only come along
when (a) there is real (and repeatedly demonstrated) permission from the
client to see the truth and (b) when the past is no longer being carried
too heavily in their field.
Grace had bravely owned and expressed many aspects of herself in the
workshops and, as a result, her field was lighter and more expansive
than I had ever encountered it. In such a state - where the person is
undefended, uncontrolling and soft - remarkable readings can occur.
Grace’s bottom line was this: You cannot commit to joy while you are
still trying to be loved.
Wow! This simple statement explains so much about why we repeat negative
patterns, sabotage ourselves (even when we’re aware we are doing it!)
and get stuck on moving closer to our dreams. If there is any part of
you that still feels it needs to get love from the world, or God, in
whatever form (approval, belonging, acceptance, appreciation,
recognition, popularity, achievement) then all your choices will be
motivated by that, and not by joy. And because that is a false
motivation – you don’t need to get love, you already are loved – it will
never be satisfied and you will search for it relentlessly and miss your
joy in the process.
This is why I have focused so much on Shadow Work in the last half of
2009. If you are carrying your past with you, in the form of shame,
guilt, blame, resentment, deprivation, secrets or masks then you are
definitely unsure of your own ‘loveability’ on some level. Until you own
what events or beliefs you are carrying that make you doubt that you are
wildly loved as you are, it will be impossible to move into Joy, no
matter how much you focus on meditating, saying affirmations or making
intentions for what you want. Paradoxically, then, the first step to Joy
is in fact moving through pain, in whichever form you may be carrying
it. Once you do, you will be able to feel (not just intellectually know)
that you are whole, perfect and remarkably loved as you are right now
(really!). Then and only then will you be free of the world’s response
to you, making it possible to take the risks and steps that are required
to live your joy.
This is not the same as saying that you can’t receive recognition,
belonging, love and reward from the world – you’re welcome to, as long
as you don’t require it, because if you require it, you will
automatically choose that above joy, whether you intend to or not.
It is exactly these principles that I use on Embody to free up people’s
bodies to move in states of greater freedom and joy. Only when the body
releases what it has been carrying on behalf of someone and only when it
gets that it is loved AS IS, can it settle into its own perfect weight,
health and vitality.
I hope you will join me in 2010 through Shadow Work, Embody, a Growth
Club or one-on-one work to uncover your ‘unloveable’ self, and set it
free so that you can really take steps in the direction of your greatest
passion. Thank you to Grace for having the courage to get to the bottom
line – you have served us all.
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