How do you Know What You Really Want?
January 2010
I remember realising a year or two ago, after countless readings and
experiences with the issues of many clients, that it is far more
important to be clear about who you are and what you want than to be
told what your purpose is. Essentially, those things are all the same
but it is far more useful, practical and responsible to focus your
attention on knowing who you are and discovering what you want than
trying to discern your purpose, or next step, from stars, numbers,
cards, tea leaves or, um, channels. While those things can be valuable
forms of insight they cannot replace your journey of finding out who you
really are.
That’s all very well but how do you know what you really want? We live
in a time, a culture and a world that values information and rationality
above almost everything. These qualities have undoubtedly raised our
quality of life over the last couple of centuries (unless you’d still
like to hunt for your food, die from a cold and have a life expectancy
of 30…).
What most of us have forgotten, however, is how to hear the still,
delicate voice of our desires in the midst of such an overwhelming of
information, media, experts, goals, facts and education all of which
present us with a bundle of ‘shoulds’.
Maybe you have been full of ‘shoulds’ as you enter the new year – I
should lose weight, I should save more, I should spend more time with my
kids, I should recycle, I should really get fit this year. If these
goals have come from outside of your true desires, or if you are being
blocked by unprocessed pain, then I bet my bottom rand that (just like
last year) your resolutions will fizzle out before Valentine’s Day.
Only when we make choices from a whole (not hurt), true (not
image-based) and joyful (uncontained) place can those choices have
whole, true and joyful results. It is, in fact, very logical – after all
logic and spirit are not different. But to make such choices requires
(1) courage to face our past and pain as well as (2) permission to
really be in touch with all parts of ourselves – spirit, body, mind and
heart.
If you truly intend to do those things, and you demonstrate that
permission by the way you make choices, then I’m a firm believer in the
fact that the mechanism will come to you. There are as many ways to Joy
as there are people on the planet. Simply go with what is available and
attractive to you at any point in time.
Here are the ways in which my work can assist you with those two
approaches:
1. Facing your past and your pain
Shadow Work will assist you to look at the places in yourself and
your life that you’ve been pretending are not there. More than simply
seeing and acknowledging these, my shadow workshops will allow you to
turn your worst hurt into your unique joy. As this is group work the
results can be quick and powerful.
Coaching is a space in which we can explore the details of your past and
current life experience in an extremely safe, private and non-judging
environment. My coaching is largely intuitive and draws on the extensive
amount of readings and one-on-one work I have done with people over the
last 6 years.
Embody, my signature workshop, will go to the heart of any pain you have
been storing in your body and will give you a series of intense and
unique processes by which you can powerfully release that.
2. Getting in touch with your Joy
JoyBoard uses silence, creativity and images to point out to you what
you are really wanting at this particular moment in time. The process
makes use of subtle techniques to access your heart and right brain
instead of simply asking you to list what you want, which inevitably
will come from left brain only. This is why I have re-named the process
JoyBoard because it differs substantially from the traditional Vision
Board technique. A gentle, fun and revealing evening.
JoyMap is a full-day, intense
workshop which also focuses on identifying your top 8 joys. We work our
way through a series of questions and prompts with a great amount of
personal focus on each participant’s responses. I assist you to see the
hidden thread connecting all your responses so that we can uncover your
most fruitful and fun areas of focus for the next year. This is not a
useful process to do if you are currently grieving, depressed or heavily
stressed.
After letting go of what you have been carrying,
Embody creates a rare and
magnificent context in which you can connect more fully and powerfully
with the wisdom of your body than you have probably done since
childhood. The joy is mindblowing!
A personal and / or group
reading will assist you to identify where you are at any point in
time and what next step would most serve you, the value being
particularly that the perspective is so vast, loving and long-term.
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