Seattling Down to Human Life
Seattle Coffee Shop is high on my list of desirable urban
experiences. I love (and take full advantage of) its intimate
relationship with Exclusive Books, the perverse thrill of paying a
ridiculous price for a substance that has zero nutritional value and, of
course, the welcoming smell of that fresh brew, bru. But most of all I
love the sheer pleasure of choice presented to a Seattle patron. Will
you have it wet or dry, wild or tame, to go or to stay? They've made the
experience of having a coffee (almost) as tantalising as sex - and you
get to do it in public. My kind of shop.
Last time I stood facing the menu, admittedly somewhat overwhelmed by
the choice, I thought about that sacred (but surely also funny) moment
of choosing for ourselves a life. I imagined myself standing in front of
a Council of Elders (in my mind they're women) and saying 'Uh, just
gimme a few more minutes, ok I think I'll take a tall, wild, skinny,
black one. Make it with wings, and hey don't forget to stamp my card,
only two more to go to a freebee.
Except that, unfortunately, I didn't quite ask for that. My order was
obviously more along the lines of short, harmless and white, with extra
cream. What's the fun in that, I sometimes wonder, disgruntled, as I'm
sure many of us do. 'Why did I choose Pofadder / acne / cancer / a
Jewish mother-in-law? Can I send this order back?’
Accepting our choices - all of them - is a difficult, profound and
liberating attitude to cultivate. The first step towards it is to
acknowledge that any given situation, relationship, or outlook does not
have an external source but is indeed of our own choice and creation. No
slack bartender (or God or anyone else) can be blamed for an incorrect
order: our illness, culture, bankruptcy, depression, family, appearance,
even abusive relationship has been carefully woven by our own soul to
facilitate its divine growth. That is an explosive statement to make and
can, understandably, be deeply offensive.
How can anyone say that you chose to be raped, that street children
chose their lives of neglect and suffering, that developing countries
chose to be ravaged, that you invited the torture of watching your wife
and children gunned down? It is also a belief that is easily exploited,
for example: 'you created this disease, now just get over it', 'our
souls chose each other; I'm hitting you cause you need it', 'you gave
yourself AIDS, I'm not spending my money looking after you', 'they chose
to be poor, there's nothing we can do about it'.
It is when we think with the fear and arrogance (same thing) of our egos
that this divinely co-ordinated mechanism of free will is exploited,
criticised or misunderstood. When we allow our higher selves to govern
our approach to life, its choices and its seemingly random events, the
notion that everything around us is our own creation engenders true
responsibility and ultimate freedom.
If no one or nothing else can be blamed or credited with what happens to
us, the realisation that we have the power to understand, love and - if
we wish - to transform our own lives dawns on us. Why did my soul choose
this experience? What do I want to learn or cultivate or experience from
this? How can this deepen my joy, my gratitude, my wisdom?
This is neither to deny emotions such as anger, pain or disappointment
nor to take a perverse pleasure in suffering in order to 'learn'.
Unpleasant emotions are there to be fully felt as part of the richness
of human experience and also to lead us in another direction. But it is
when we know our soul's part in calling those emotions into our realm of
experience that we can balance pain with acceptance and, ultimately,
discover the love-purpose behind every thought, event or relationship.
Six days ago, family friends of mine lost both their teenage children in
a horrendous car accident. Expressing to these two grieving parents that
the whole event was carefully and wisely planned by the souls of all
concerned was not the best choice of action. Compassion gently suggested
- as she will if we would like to hear her - that the only appropriate
response was to bathe them in love, through both my actions and
thoughts. The time for teaching and learning is specific and deeply
personalised for the persons concerned. Teaching is never more important
than loving.
The choices of a human being are sacred, whatever their consequences.
Next time you find yourself walking past a Seattle coffee shop, take a
moment to appreciate and marvel at the, perhaps uniquely human,
phenomenon of ultimate free will. May you then see the wise beauty of
your own life's choices.
November 2002
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