Whole-some Living
I’d like to share with you what I did this morning. It took some
courage but left me feeling uplifted, inspired and sure of myself. After
resisting the experience sharply, I eventually surrendered and took what
I think is a big leap towards creating my dream self. Truly, it was
nothing less than pure transformation.
I went to have my hair done.
Hopefully for most of you this is a relatively normal activity. But, for
me, committing time, energy and money to having my hair done requires
surrender, risk and a leap out my comfort zone to the extent that I can
call it a spiritual experience. Not because I got high on the peroxide
fumes or braved Sandton City on a Saturday morning, but because my story
about who I am has excluded beauty for a long time.
For reasons that are too complex to mention beauty is an aspect of
divinity that has never seemed to belong to me. I have an uncanny (and
certainly not coincidental) knack of being surrounded by beautiful
family, friends, and even my own sons, but I’ve never managed to own
what was being reflected to me. So for a long time, I reacted to beauty
the way many of us react to what we secretly want but think we can’t
have. We make it wrong! It was much easier for me to call beautiful
people superficial than to face my own sense of lack and much more
convenient to label those girls who did embrace their beauty, sluts,
rather than begin the sticky, scary journey of embracing my own.
So I worked hard to carve an identity that positioned itself as somewhat
opposite to beautiful. I developed the serious, intellectual, spiritual
side of myself so that beauty in relation would look frivolous and
meaningless. But, of course, that lack of wholeness repeatedly comes
back to bite me on the bum! In a reading this weekend, it was gently
suggested to me that my struggle with marketing myself and my work is a
direct reflection of my own firm belief that the content (the inner) is
far more important than the packaging (the outer). Ouch! But, in the
practical, playful tone that is characteristic of the readings, I was
advised not to judge myself for that (mis)belief but instead to do
something I’d secretly wanted to do for ages – and without guilt! That’s
why I found myself spending the morning with my head under a dryer
rather than under a book.
There are many ways to look at what aspects of yourself you’re
suppressing. An obvious one is to observe the labels you most often put
on yourself and consider what the opposite of that might be. Do you
think of yourself as clever, middle-aged or spiritual? Perhaps you’re
missing out on the benefits of being a little silly, youthful in your
thinking, or commercially minded? A friend of mine exemplified this to
me when she took some time out from her two-year-old to shop for shoes.
She consciously looked for the pair of boots that seemed the most
UNmother-like and she feels wild and sexy each time she puts them on.
Just for the sake of feeling that it was a good thing to do, but the
value goes even beyond the feeling. Being in touch with that side of
herself is going to be extremely useful as she embraces her fledgling
career and needs a sense of toughness to draw on, or when she has to
muster up the self esteem to speak out. Most often, it is our repressed
selves that hold the key to our next step in business, relationships or
personal growth.
What small choice can you make this month to express who you think you
are not? I guarantee you learning, liberation and a great deal of fun!
Those who would like to explore this topic in more detail, as well as
discover and play out their own hidden selves, may be interested in a
personal consultation with me or in doing my workshop ‘Your Lion, Your
Witch and Your Wardrobe Self.’ Please contact me for details.
May 2007
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